"i cannot tell the truth about this place without running into lies.”

— Sonia Sanchez, Poem at Thirty

I’ve worn many titles: founder, CEO, co-founder, social entrepreneur. Some might call me a super collaborator. On the outside, I looked like the embodiment of “Black Girl Magic.”

But inside, I have struggled. Despite the accolades, I kept needing more, projects and acknowledgments, hoping they would confirm to the world and myself that I was enough—that I wasn’t an imposter. I needed to believe I deserved to be here, that my collective experience had earned my place, deserving investment and sponsorship. Yet, as I reached these professional highs, my personal life unraveled. My marriage was failing because I wasn’t present. I sacrificed moments of family bonding and memories to foster networks and business opportunities. I prioritized work over supporting my own physical and mental well-being.

“You are your best thing.”

— Toni Morrison, Beloved

I’ve conjured my Black Girl Magic time and again. I’ve called on it when the stakes were high, when resources were scarce. But every time I made it happen, it wasn’t magic—it was grit, hard work, and sacrifice, driven by love. This article isn’t a criticism of Black Girl Magic itself; it’s a call to recognize what’s behind the magic and to question the environments that make magic a necessity. Why is so much “magic” required when investment, capacity-building, and structural support could suffice?

Exploring Historical and Cultural Context

The idea of Black women needing to be resilient, strong, and “magical” did not start with the phrase “Black Girl Magic.” This concept has roots in a long history of placing expectations on Black women to be caretakers and providers. From slavery, where Black women were exploited to reproduce children, their physical labor and nurturing roles, to the Jim Crow era, to the Civil Rights Movement, Black women have been seen as unbreakable.

In the early 2010s, “Black Girl Magic” emerged as a way to celebrate the beauty, resilience, and accomplishments of Black women in the face of systemic oppression. It was coined by CaShawn Thompson as an empowering response to a society that often ignored or disparaged Black women’s successes. However, over time, what started as an affirmation became expectation, even of ourselves. The phrase demands that Black women consistently overcome challenges with a kind of supernatural grace. The cultural embrace of “Black Girl Magic” often fails to address the very systems that make such “magic” necessary.

Popular culture and media have embraced “Black Girl Magic,” as a feel-good narrative. Yet, in celebrating Black women’s successes, the structural inequities and sacrifices behind those successes are often glossed over. When corporations and media outlets commodify “Black Girl Magic,” they risk masking the struggle, framing Black women as inherently strong and invulnerable rather than as individuals deserving of care and support.

Black Girl Love: Reclaiming the Source of Magic

“Black Girl Magic” often celebrates Black women’s extraordinary ability to endure, create, and achieve despite the odds. Yet at its core, what fuels this magic is love—love for our communities, families, and work. But most often, this love is directed outward, leaving little for the one person who needs it most: the woman in the mirror.

“I found god in myself and I loved her. I loved her fiercely.”

— Ntozake Shange, For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide / When the Rainbow Is Enuf

Black Girl Love is about turning the transformative power of love inward, centering our own well-being. Personally, I found this shift during my journey through the Sacred Woman rites of passage, where I connected with other women in healing circles. In these sacred spaces, I discovered that I could heal myself, that I was worthy of the same care and love I so often directed outward. This experience taught me that love is not just what fuels the “magic” we create for others—it is also the remedy we must deliberately apply to ourselves. Through reflection, nurturing, and self-care, I learned to embrace a new way of loving that starts with prioritizing my own health, happiness, and wholeness.

Reclaiming “Black Girl Love” is about turning that love inward. It’s about recognizing that our ability to create change and nurture others is fueled by an extraordinary source that deserves care, investment, and support. This isn’t just about self-care in the trendy sense; it’s about acknowledging our inherent worth and setting boundaries that protect our mental, emotional, and physical health. It’s about rejecting the notion that we must constantly prove our value through relentless labor.

Self-Love and Care in Practical Terms

So, how do we reclaim that love? It means setting boundaries in work and personal life, saying “no” to projects that don’t align with our well-being, and seeking mental health support without shame. It’s about creating spaces for joy, rest, and reflection that are free from the pressure to perform. Yet, practicing self-love is not always easy. Many of us are raised with cultural expectations equating love with sacrifice. We often feel guilty or selfish when putting ourselves first, especially in the face of financial constraints or family obligations.

Reclaiming this love also requires confronting cultural stigmas around mental health within some Black communities. It means advocating for spaces that normalize therapy, rest, and self-care as integral to our well-being rather than as indulgences.

Systemic Barriers to Self-Care

However, this is not a journey that Black women can or should take alone. The reality is that systemic barriers make it difficult for Black women to prioritize themselves. Black women face wage gaps, with earnings averaging only 64 cents to every dollar a white man earns. They disproportionately bear the burden of supporting families while receiving less than 1% of venture capital funding, despite being one of the fastest-growing groups of entrepreneurs. On top of this, the healthcare system frequently fails them, with maternal mortality rates three times higher than those of white women.

These systemic inequities mean that practicing self-love is not just an individual struggle but a structural issue. To make Black Girl Love a reality, we need a world that provides affordable healthcare, mental health resources, equitable pay and venture investment, and job security. We need systems that support Black women’s well-being and recognize their value without demanding extraordinary “magic” in return.

Call for Allyship and Structural Change

This is where allyship and structural change come into play. It’s not enough for Black women to love themselves; society must also love and invest in them. Allies can use their privilege to amplify the voices of Black women, advocating for equitable policies in workplaces and beyond. Organizations must move beyond token gestures, implementing pay equity policies, providing mentorship, and addressing biases in funding practices.

Policymakers, on the other hand, must address the structural inequalities that necessitate “magic.” This includes passing legislation that closes the wage gap, expands healthcare access, and supports Black women entrepreneurs through funding and resources.

Some may argue that “Black Girl Magic” is essential for empowerment. And indeed, it has been a source of pride and affirmation for many, reminding us of our inherent power and strength. However, this critique is not against celebrating the magic of Black women but against the conditions that force us to rely on it. We can uplift Black women and recognize their brilliance without turning their resilience into an expectation. By making “magic” a necessity rather than a choice, we continue to place the burden of systemic change on those most affected by inequity.

A Vision for the Future

Imagine a world where Black women no longer need to rely on “magic” just to survive and thrive. In this world, they have access to healthcare that treats them with respect and dignity. They earn equitable pay and are awarded opportunities in entrepreneurship, leadership, and creativity without the need to prove their worth through extraordinary feats. They are free to rest, dream, and live their full lives with joy and fulfillment.

When we invest in Black women, we affirm that they deserve support, resources, and opportunities not because of their ability to “make magic” but because of their inherent dignity, value, and humanity. Our future should not depend on Black Girl Magic; it should be shaped by our collective capacity to build systems of love, support, and investment that allow Black women to flourish.

So, let’s continue to celebrate Black women, but let’s also work toward a future where they are honored, supported, and valued equitably. Let’s create a world where “magic” is a choice, not a requirement, and where Black Girl Love is not an afterthought but the foundation of our collective progress.